Why You Think Others Have "Dream Jobs"

1) The Highlight Reel vs. The Behind-the-Scenes:

You see the public, successful, and exciting parts of someone else's job—the promotion, the finished project, the business trip to a cool city.

You don't see the tedious meetings, the frustrating bureaucracy, the difficult clients, the sleepless nights, or the moments of self-doubt. You're comparing your "behind-the-scenes" to their "highlight reel."

2) Idealization and Projection:

When you're unhappy or unfulfilled, it's easy to project all your desires onto a single, seemingly perfect job. You think, "If only I were a [software engineer/teacher/travel blogger] like them, all my problems would be solved."

You're idealizing a career path as a solution to your general dissatisfaction.

3) Lack of Complete Information:

You might know what a job does, but you don't know what it feels like to do it every day.

A video game tester doesn't just play fun games; they perform repetitive tasks for hours to find bugs. A successful lawyer doesn't just give powerful closing arguments; they spend countless hours reviewing dense documents.

4) The "Passion" Fallacy:

Society often tells us to "follow our passion," making it seem like the perfect job is a pre-existing thing you just have to find.

This can lead to a constant, anxious search for that one mythical "dream job" that will make work feel like play, causing you to devalue your current role.

Why This Mindset Prevents You from Finding a "Best Job" for Yourself

1) You're Looking Outward, Not Inward:

The search for the "best job" is an internal one. It's about understanding your own skills, values, and what kind of work environment makes you thrive.

If you're always looking at others, you're not doing the necessary self-reflection to figure out what you truly need and want.

2) It Creates a "Comparison Loop”:

You see Person A's job, feel bad about yours, and then see Person B's job, feeling even worse. This cycle of comparison leads to anxiety, envy, and decision paralysis.

You become so afraid of choosing the "wrong" path that you choose no path at all, or you jump from job to job, never building depth or satisfaction.

3) It Sets Unrealistic Expectations:

No job is perfect. Every single role has its trade-offs. By believing in the "dream job" myth, you set yourself up for disappointment.

The moment your new job reveals its inevitable flaws and boring tasks, you'll think, "Ah, this isn't the real dream job either," and the search begins again.

4) It Undermines Your Present:

Constantly yearning for someone else's career makes it impossible to be present and perform well in your current role.

This lack of engagement prevents you from finding hidden opportunities, gaining valuable experience, and building a reputation—all of which are crucial for landing better jobs in the future.

How to Break the Cycle and Find Your Best Job

1) Practice "Job Espionage" (Not Just Research):

Go beyond reading job descriptions. Conduct informational interviews with people in those roles.

Ask them the real questions: "What does a typical Tuesday look like?" "What is the most frustrating part of your job?" "What skills do you use the most that aren't in the job description?"

2) Shift from "Finding a Passion" to "Developing Passion":

Research shows that passion for work often followsmastery and success, not the other way around. Instead of asking "What is my passion?", ask:

"What problems do I enjoy solving?"
"What activities make me lose track of time?"
"What kind of work environment makes me feel energized?"

3) Conduct a Self-Audit:

Get specific about what you want. Make a list:

Values: What's important to you? (Autonomy, stability, creativity, helping others, high income?)
Skills: What are you good at? What do you enjoy doing?
Deal-Breakers: What will you absolutely not tolerate? (e.g., long commute, toxic culture, no growth opportunities).

4) Focus on "Good Enough for Now" and Iterate:

The pressure to find the one perfect forever job is immense and unrealistic.

Think in terms of a stepping stone. Ask: "Does this next role get me closer to my values, use more of my skills, or help me learn something new?"

A career is a journey, not a single destination.

5) Cultivate Your Own Garden:

Instead of staring at your neighbor's (seemingly) greener grass, focus on watering your own.

What can you do today in your current role to make it better? Can you take on a new project? Learn a new skill? Improve a relationship with a colleague?

Often, the path to a better job starts by making the most of the one you have.

In short: 

The reason you can't find your best job is because you're using someone else's map. Throw away that map and start drawing your own.

The best job for you isn't a pre-existing trophy to be found; it's a role you help shape and build, based on a deep and honest understanding of who you are.